There’s been some discussion recently about scheduling sex and if that works. Does it just ruin the spontaneity? Or does it give time to plan, the mental foreplay adding to the spice earlier on?
One area that scheduling time for and planning ahead is a great idea is anal sex. It does require some preparation especially if you haven’t tried before or only do it occasionally. To know when it might be in store can really build up the excitement of the moment.
The self-seduction can begin with you feeling sexy yourself, imagining the new sensations that might be coming your way. Allow your mind and body to enjoy the thought.
So in hetero relationships where you’ve agreed a desire to try anal, it is important to always remember that the one receiving is the one calling the shots. There are many nerve endings in the tightly packed ring of muscles that make up the anal opening. Whilst stimulating them can bring overwhelming pleasure, it can lead to pain if you aren’t fully prepared and ready.
One way is to think about what will be happening throughout the day. Our brain is our biggest erogenous zone and keeps us bubbling with excitement, drawing your mind back to the pleasure you will be having later. But first, check out this anal sex beginners guide on how to enjoy some anal pleasure.
Anal sex beginner’s guide – don’t be nervous of anal?
From the perspective of being the receiver, having something inserted into your bottom as big as penis where only items have come out in the past, can be a daunting prospect. If you have never explored there before, it might be nice to do a little experimentation by yourself during masturbation. A lovely place to lavish in your own body is the bath. Why not take a little erotica to read and lather yourself up with some gorgeous gentle bubble bath. Letting your fingers trail over your body as you engage your mind in sexy words can loosen you up. As you’re by yourself, you can take it at your own pace. Your body is yours to explore and take pleasure in. It’s perfectly normal to be aroused and think about yourself in a sexual way.
When you are warmed up in more ways than one, you may have to pop the book down at this point. Start with your usual masturbation technique, you can explore some of our female masturbation videos but don’t be afraid to slide the other hand to underneath and gently probe at the entrance there. Allow yourself to gently feel the sensitivity of the nerves and how lovely it feels to massage there. You might feel the desire to slide a finger in a little, press gently, and see how your body yields. This is a nice way to see if you can ease more than one finger in, sliding gently and mimicking the thrusts of your partner later on.
The water may not offer adequate lubrication. Silky skin safe soap (not in your vagina) or other lubes – you might find it works just fine. Working your vagina and clitoris with one hand and your anus with the other you can really feel what rhythm you enjoy and how deep you are able to penetrate yourself. Remember the first few centimetres of muscle is the most sensitive.
Try and relax
Cast aside any mental taboos and let your body guide you. If you have invested in a butt plug, now would be a great time to try it out. Butt plugs are conical, usually made of silicon, with a flared base. Because the rectum is not a closed area like the vagina with its cervix, you need the flared base to stop anything slipping inside. Choose a finely tapered one at first to get used to the feeling of being full. Your body will soon learn to relax rather than tense up. Your muscles will go back to normal afterwards so don’t worry about that.
Now, three fingers and a slim butt plug aren’t the same as a fully erect penis of course, but it is definitely worth this exploration. Not least to find out if it really is something you want to try with your partner. It is something you must talk about and both consent to fully as care has to be taken to make sure it happens with only pleasure.
Ahem… ok so that’s all fine… but what about poop?
The positive pleasure of anal sex
Absolutely! This can be a very intimidating thought. After all, it isn’t really a turn on to be worrying about messing yourself or your partner. So there are a few ways to make this easier. First of all, the fact that you are in such an intimate relationship that you are able to discuss and embark on trying anal sex, should really mean a little bit of poop is nothing to be embarrassed about! However, we should try and mitigate it so you can fully give yourself over to the experience.
And now we come back to our beginning, that all-important planning. If you know for a few days in advance that you’re trying it out, some anal enthusiasts like to stick to light meals in the days leading up to it. No big curries or heavy meaty dishes. You could invest in an anal douche. This is an instrument that is much like a turkey baster but you pop it in your bottom with water to give the rectum a wash prior to play.
More preparation. You will need a really good lube and lots of it. The anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina and a little lick of saliva won’t suffice. Choose a nice thick one that works with condoms if you are using those. Condoms can be a good idea during anal anyway to help avoid sharing bacteria to the vagina. Never double-dip without either a condom change or a thorough clean-up.
To the main event!
The good news is, after all that preparation and anticipation, you will both surely be very excited by this point. It might be a nice idea to share a shower or bath, lathering up and washing each other in preparation. Slipping a finger into each other’s bottoms as you do so. Men have a prostate gland, an area about the size of a walnut that can bring great pleasure if stimulated during sexual play. It is situated about 4cm inside on the front wall of the rectum and is often referred to as the male Gspot.
Once you are all lovely and soft from being warmed and cleaned, pop on an erotic movie featuring anal like this one to stimulate your visual erogenous zones.
Now you can seriously start exploring each other’s bodies. Indulge in lots of lovely pussy licking allowing your tongue to go places it might never have been. Rimming is the practice of stimulating the anus with your mouth and tongue. Licking and probing there can ignite the pleasure sensations and make you eager for more. Dipping your tongue in and out can be a lovely sensation. Just because one of you is the receiver of the main event, doesn’t mean the other has to miss out on the fun!
Enjoy and prepare
Perhaps you’ve had some oral, fingering, vaginal sex and now you’re all loosened up and ready to take the next step. Make sure you have plenty of warmed up lube at hand and perhaps begin with a sensual ass massage.
Lying face down with your legs spread, allow your partner to give you a gorgeous luxurious butt focussed massage. Fingers will probe, warm lube will trickle down and by this point. You’ll be arching your ass up to meet those probing digits! Take it super slow and align yourself in the easiest position for the penis to probe comfortably. You may think that if your partner has managed to slide three fingers in up to the knuckle that you will easily accommodate a penis, but it is still a very different sensation. Fingers can curl and twist, finding ways to ease in. A penis is basically capable of going in and out so be prepared and relax as much as possible at this moment.
The head of the penis should be thoroughly lubed as well as your bottom. When you feel the pressure at your entrance, bear down slightly when you feel the stretching. You may feel a sharp pain or burning sensation as your muscles open up and to all allow your partner in. Bearing down should help with this, it feels unusual to do so but try and resist the temptation to tense up.
Anal sex beginner’s guide – take it slowly slowly
Once you have got past the initial stretch and the head of the penis is in, stop, and allow your bodies to adjust to this new full sensation. The anus is so full of nerve endings that this may feel like your partner’s penis is absolutely enormous. All your attention will now be focussed on those muscles and relaxing and enjoying this new connection will make all the difference. Ask for more lube then breathe deeply, relaxing as you go. As your partner slides in deeper, slowly slowly making sure you are ok throughout.
You may not manage to take it the whole way yet, stop again. Always checking in with each other, perhaps pull out a tiny bit, rocking back and forth until the shaft beings to slide easier.
Once you’ve both adjusted, try thrusting faster. You may feel fuller than you’ve ever felt and that can be a truly exciting feeling.
You might want a finger in your vagina too, or even a vibrator to enhance the sensations. This can be quite mind-blowing. Because of the sensitivity in your rear, you may feel super turned on. Your clitoris might not need much stimulation to orgasm.
You can ask your partner to reach round to your clit or if the change in position is too intense, you can reach yourself. Or use a vibrator.
You might find after all the build-up, it doesn’t take too long for either of you to feel the climax building.
Exploding together on a wave of newfound bliss, this addition to your sexual partnership can really boost intimacy too.
Thoroughly recommended by FrolicMe.
Happy anal fun!
Here are some delicious anal sex films to help you decide if anal is something you’d like to try. Or if you are new to Frolicme, why not check out our selection of free porn videos.