Births, incontinence, sexual trauma can leave some woman and vulva owners feeling disconnected to their sexual selves, ignoring or burying their problem through shame, lack of education and resources. If it doesn’t function as it should, it gets ignored—orgasms often the last thing health care professionals mention.
One woman is fighting back against shame and stigma and helping women to take charge of their vulvas and power on up to a mighty pelvic floor, better sex life and stronger orgasms!
Just back from her Australian Tour where she won the Comedy Award at Fringe World for her one-woman show, Gusset Grippers, Elaine Miller is on a mission to get us talking, thinking and fixing our pelvic floor.
She says as many as one in three women experience urinary incontinence but this might be higher as it takes on average seven years for a woman to ask for any sort of help. Seven years!
She fears this is because it seems that for women, having a leaky bladder is just something they think they ought to put up with. Instead of rectifying the problem with a few easy exercises, they buy pads and other products to cope with the symptoms.
It is also apparent that women are not often asked about their sexual enjoyment or fulfilment. They are really only being asked about sex to make sure they are on the correct contraceptive, not whether their world is being rocked orgasmically. It stands to reason that if you are embarrassed about your weak bladder and self-conscious, your sex life will take a tumble too.
Why does it take so long for women to get treatment for their pelvic floor?
Shame still surrounds all things fannies. Women are bombarded with products every day to make them feel inadequate or smelly – perfumes, scented panty liners, all chip away at self-worth and being told to close your legs… no wonder we can ignore our lady gardens. Women with urinary incontinence might not even realise it’s not normal to leak.
Elaine has been a pelvic floor physiotherapist for 15 years and decided that comedy was the way to engage women enough so they, in turn, engage their pelvic floor.
Pelvic floor exercises are almost like a magic wand and the benefits are threefold—cure incontinence, increase overall confidence and, our favourite, improve orgasms. If your muscles around your vagina and pelvic basin are engaged and strong, you will find sex whether solo or partnered, becomes more pleasurable and it should be easier to achieve orgasm.
Elaine says that sometimes during the promotion of her show dressed in a custom-made vulva outfit often in intense heat, she wonders what she is doing with her life. But then, when her audience laughs at her jokes knowing her show is dedicated to bringing our pelvises to the forefront of our health routine, she knows she’s on the right path.
By using humour to lighten and highlight this important issue she feels that women will be more open to discussing their vagina and vulva health and indeed seeking help where they might not have thought there was anything they could do. And anything that does that has our seal of approval. Keeping your vulva and vagina in good working order can be simple and the rewards are priceless. No leaks, super confidence and all those orgasms. We have it all in our grasp.
Here’s Elaine’s Top Pelvic Floor Tips for a Tip Top Tuppence:
If you can’t control your pee, poo or farts then speak to your GP—leaking is common, but never normal
Avoid constipation—one of the biggest causes of vaginal prolapse
Do your pelvic floor exercises three times a day until you are dry, then once a day every day until you die.
If the exercises don’t help, or if they hurt to do, get a referral to a pelvic health physio – we can help!
So to get on top of those pelvic floor exercises…
Develop a habit!
Basic pelvic floor exercises that you can do every day are as simple as clenching and releasing your pelvic muscles.
Elaine says:
Take a deep breath in
Then sigh out
Squeeze your holes shut and lift – it’s only a tiny movement
Hold for ten seconds
Then release and relax
Then ten of the same in quick succession
Some women have reported that their orgasms improve within just two weeks of starting these simple exercises. And that’s a pretty motivating factor is it not!
Three times a day to a fab fanny!
Remember, clench, hold, and release. Releasing is just as important as we can already carry a lot of tension in our vaginal area leading to even more pressure when a sneeze or unexpected giggle comes along.
It might be that you exercise every time you are sitting at the traffic lights, of course, that’s less likely now but since we’re probably all glued to the news at the moment, perhaps the signal to start your clenching is the sound of the news coming on – in fact, that count down to the headlines has a great pulsing rhythm you can squeeze along to.
Elaine often matches exercises to songs, using humour and earworms to help us get with our pelvises. Watch this great introduction to the type of work she does.
Why not give your exercises even more of a lift by browsing our range of kegel balls and love eggs, all designed to tone up your pelvic floor too. Some even vibrate for a little added incentive to get you going.
And remember, only two weeks to better orgasms!