There are countless myths about masturbation borne out of cultural and religious taboos. Many of the old myths like ‘masturbation will make you go blind’ have been widely debunked and now make us laugh. Unfortunately, these myths have been overtaken by more insidious ones like ‘masturbation will cause you to lose interest in your partner’ or ‘masturbation means that your relationship is on the rocks’, which people find far easier to believe. These newer myths are still ways of shaming people out of engaging in self-pleasure. Masturbation health benefits are vast and all-important.
As a therapist and coach, I hear these regularly from people who are ashamed of their desire to masturbate, worried about the frequency of masturbation and from partners who feel that their lover’s masturbation means their sex life is not what it should be. The truth is masturbation is the cornerstone of a healthy, satisfying sexual life.
The better a person understands their body and their pleasure, the better their pleasure with partners will be. Masturbation is the easiest way to explore the different ways bodies experience pleasure. Masturbation allows us to explore in privacy without having to worry about a partner’s reactions, judgements or preferences.
For people who have had trouble reaching orgasm, self-pleasure allows them to learn what they need to reach that peak. In addition, being able to take time and not feel pressured while experimenting makes masturbation an ideal way to figure out the ins and outs of orgasm, and there are many health benefits.
Masturbation provides people with the opportunity to explore their desire by focusing on fantasy material to figure out what actually turns them on most. Trying out different kinds of stimulation free from pressure gives a person a chance to create a full erotic repertoire.
People who have the healthiest, most satisfying sexual lives have some key things in common:
They are comfortable with their desires, so they don’t have shame about them or about sex in general.
They are able to communicate well about sex and their own desires, including listening to the desires of others without judgement.
They have varied desires, fantasies and a wide menu of sexual activities that they enjoy.
They know their bodies well and how best to gain pleasure from their bodies.
They enjoy providing a receiving pleasure.
They are open to learning new things.
They look after their emotional, physical and sexual health.
Self-pleasure is one of the tools they use to add to their pleasure and learning.
Masturbation health benefits have been found to include:
Reduces tension.
Lowers stress and anxiety.
Enhances sleep. High-quality sleep enhances all aspects of life.
Elevates mood.
Eases pain.
Decreases the risk of prostate cancer.
Self-pleasure improves the sex lives of people who experience menopause during and after menopause by increasing vaginal lubrication and lowering pain during other types of sexual activity because the vagina remains more flexible.
Other masturbation health benefits also include:
Masturbation health benefits also include aiding people with penises to prolong sex and increase their overall stamina. It can help people with vaginas learn how to increase different types of arousal in a variety of erogenous zones. Learning how to reach orgasm through different types of stimulation, different places of stimulation and different strokes means a person is more likely to be able to achieve satisfaction with a wider variety of partners and in a greater variety of sexual positions and/or situations. This is particularly important if someone develops a disability like arthritis, where they can no longer use their hand or wrist in the way they did previously. They can become frustrated if they have only learned how to have an orgasm in one pattern. Changing things up during self-pleasure is a great way to ensure this never happens.
Engaging in regular masturbation lowers the probability of impulsive sexual activity. This makes it easier for people to make healthier partner choices and have healthier and more satisfying sexual relationships.
Brain chemistry changes during masturbation. Thinking about sex gives a person a dopamine boost, and engaging in sexual activity also boosts endorphins. Dopamine gives feelings of pleasure, and endorphins are natural painkillers, providing us with strong feelings of pleasure and well-being.
Masturbation improves relationships in a number of ways. Mutual masturbation can involve partners watching each other masturbate or partners using their hands to stimulate each other to orgasm. Watching each other can be both exciting and educational. Watching your partner pleasure themselves is a way to learn what types of strokes they enjoy most, where they most like to be touched and what kinds of touch will bring them to orgasm. Self-pleasure is also completely safe sex, as there is no fluid exchange and no actual touching of anyone else’s body.
Masturbation can relieve pressure when one partner wants sex and the other partner does not want sex. Sexual desire mismatches are part of every long-term sexual relationship. Sometimes the mismatch is simply a matter of physical factors like tiredness or illness. Other times the mismatch is a short term where one partner simply wants more sex than the other. Finally, there are times when relationships are emotionally challenged, when partners may not wish to have sex with each other. Self-pleasure is one tool that reduces tension and frustration, improving the quality of the relationship.
Tips on how to enjoy the benefits of masturbation
Take your time. Plan to spend between 1 and 4 hours sexually exploring.
Use a variety of media. Watch good erotica and ethical pornography. At Frolicme, there is also a large selection of female masturbation films to watch for inspiration and pleasure. Listen to erotic audio: pre-recorded, or if you have a lover, ask them to record a story for you. Read erotica. Short stories are great for variety. Erotic novels can be wonderful to sink into.
Try different types of sex toys. Different textures, temperatures, and materials can teas you a lot about what brings you the most pleasure and also give you ideas about bringing pleasure to others.
Try masturbating in different environments. Try the shower or bath, in bed or on a plush rug. The threat of discovery can add spice but be careful, as discovery can also have some unintended negative consequences.
Finally, make self-pleasure a priority. When we experience our bodies as pleasurable, we feel better about ourselves in general and then tend to have a more positive outlook overall.
Thank you for your tasteful erotica. My partner of 7 years comments quite often that we lack intimacy and I don’t disagree. I’m hopeful that as I explore your variety of content that I can bring more intimacy back into our relationship.
M